Monday, January 9, 2012

One Word

I've been trying to pull together a nice,light-hearted "Year in Review" post.- I promise I'll post one, complete with sweet pictures and funny anecdotes about the last year with a girl who keeps getting funnier and sweeter with each passing day.

Might I add that it should surprise no one who knows me that these "new year" posts are arriving much closer to the middle of the month than the beginning of it. Obviously.

Naturally, there is a lot of introspection going on at this time of year. I've thought about my goals for 2012, where I see my life going in the next 365 days. It's amusing to even entertain the idea that I have much control- but if the last few years of my life have taught me anything, it's that coping skills and contingency plans are key.

I saw this on another blog (that I can't even remember now) so I can't take credit for being super creative. But I'd like to condense all my goals and "resolutions" into one word. One word to carry me through the next year, to buoy my efforts and soften my missteps.

Courage.

My word for 2012 is courage.

Courage to do what is best for me. Best for my family. Best for my daughter.

Courage to take care of myself. To say no when I need to.

Courage to become the type of woman I want my daughter to be.

Courage to speak up. Stand firm.

Courage to grow into my career,the one that still feels a little bit like dress-up or grad school. (I still have to stifle a childish grin/giggle when I introduce myself as a speech language pathologist, certain that someone is going to come around the corner and call my bluff)

Courage to make peace with my body. Because even with the progress I've made, I find myself wishing away more pounds and for smaller sizes on labels.

Courage to keep running, because it's something that I do only for myself. This year's goal? I have my sights set on completing  the Seacoast Series (6 local races, 2 of them longer than 5K's) and on running the Patriots Place 10k- because finishing on the 50 yard line of Gilette Stadium? Holy awesome.

Courage to make time. To write. To read. To breathe. I don't do enough that is only for me. Courage to be selfish, if only for a little while.

Courage in the face of obstacles and stumbling blocks and flat-out falls.

Because the word of 2011? It was retreat. I don't mean that negatively. But I was in survival mode. Finishing grad school. Finding a job. Making it through. Just surviving. I found satisfaction in continuing to breathe in and out. In keeping my daughter fed and clothed, happy and healthy. I feel no shame in that.

But in 2012?
I have the courage to want more.